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话题: How to deal with arrogant brides...
I rephrase my last post and forgive me admins for using such inappropriate wording last try, I was quite upset by the bride at my last wedding gig.
So now I will try to adress my post in a more professional way.
I played on a wedding, I had got a list of songs in advance they wanted to hear, so far so good.
After the first dance the normal party music was started (according to their list, so they would recognize and see that I listened to their wishes) After 3 tracks the bride approached with very direct steps and gave me direct instructions to start playing house music.
As you all know, it IS a process of building the energy step by step and you don't want to drop it all from the start. You must make the guests "ready" and slowly "manipulate" their minds to make them ready for high energy. That's our job right?
Well, When the house music was running she was not satisfied with how long I was playing all the tracks. Of course I do not play each track through, but some tracks lend them better than others to play shorter/longer, and even depends on the dancefloor energy levels. When I see people recognize a track very well and know what's coming, I will simply not dissapoint them and mix in a new track.
But the bride was not satisfied. She repeatedly approached during the evening/nights and told me to play something that "people recognize" and play "something that is fast" . I am not the person who gets upset easily and I informed her that the songs played so far are from your wishlist. After a while she sent her husband to me and he repeated her statement that I should play shorter on each track. The thing is, the rest of the audience had a very nice time and the energy was sometimes boiling so I got the impression that most of the dancefloor was quite happy with the music selection. Anyway, my question is, how to deal with those egocentric brides who believe they can control everything? Sorry again VDJ admins for the last post with unappropriate phrasing.
 

发表时间 Mon 29 Aug 22 @ 11:54 am
It just happens, take it on the chin and move on.

Luckily I've been fine but one of my friends had one of those nights a few weeks ago where the bride wasn't happy with the music. She requested a refund from the hotel wedding package, so they contacted the agent my friend works for and he had to send through his playlist for investigation. It's still ongoing as she's not letting go.

I'm maybe lucky that with my personality and experience I can work with most people but with the best will in the world there will be somethng unresolveable. Some people just know better and won't listen .... and that's just when you try to fix things the best you can. It doesn't hurt to admit defeat once in a while.
 

发表时间 Mon 29 Aug 22 @ 12:06 pm
SepatroPRO InfinityMember since 2019
How to deal with this bride? Make sure her husband reads this :D
 

发表时间 Mon 29 Aug 22 @ 3:16 pm
What saved me that night was I knew I had to stand her a few hours, worse for her husband who has to live with her :) :)

Yea I know how to deal with most people, I met "a few" over the years. I have no issue at all taking advice or listen to what I can do better. That's just appreciated. We all learn every day.
But when it comes to certain people which I can see in advance - this will lead to nothing, and people who are "always right"

Nevermind, all professions working with society and meets a lot of people will a day clash. That's life! :)
 

发表时间 Mon 29 Aug 22 @ 5:19 pm
DJMBR01PRO InfinityMember since 2015
Wedding DJ professionals know their clients through human interaction and getting to know them on a more adult, personal level than emails & texts could establish.

For wedding celebrations, a faceless, meaningless playlist is no better than the toilet paper it is written on.

Nothing in your post suggests that, prior to, you ever met or had a meaningful conversation with these clients nor that did the necessary/any wedding reception celebration groundwork.

Although, I suspect this client did not care about hiring an experienced professional.

BTW, your post 's title forshawdowed the reality of the issue, "arrogance"...albeit not always that of the client.

P.S. While the opportunities to learn is plentiful, often the capacity or deisre is not.


 

发表时间 Mon 29 Aug 22 @ 5:48 pm
Mobile Zombie wrote :
I rephrase my last post and forgive me admins for using such inappropriate wording last try, I was quite upset by the bride at my last wedding gig.
So now I will try to adress my post in a more professional way.
I played on a wedding, I had got a list of songs in advance they wanted to hear, so far so good.
After the first dance the normal party music was started (according to their list, so they would recognize and see that I listened to their wishes) After 3 tracks the bride approached with very direct steps and gave me direct instructions to start playing house music.
As you all know, it IS a process of building the energy step by step and you don't want to drop it all from the start. You must make the guests "ready" and slowly "manipulate" their minds to make them ready for high energy. That's our job right?
Well, When the house music was running she was not satisfied with how long I was playing all the tracks. Of course I do not play each track through, but some tracks lend them better than others to play shorter/longer, and even depends on the dancefloor energy levels. When I see people recognize a track very well and know what's coming, I will simply not dissapoint them and mix in a new track.
But the bride was not satisfied. She repeatedly approached during the evening/nights and told me to play something that "people recognize" and play "something that is fast" . I am not the person who gets upset easily and I informed her that the songs played so far are from your wishlist. After a while she sent her husband to me and he repeated her statement that I should play shorter on each track. The thing is, the rest of the audience had a very nice time and the energy was sometimes boiling so I got the impression that most of the dancefloor was quite happy with the music selection. Anyway, my question is, how to deal with those egocentric brides who believe they can control everything? Sorry again VDJ admins for the last post with unappropriate phrasing.


Confused. It's a wedding. Bride wanted music. You didnt play tracks fully ( Wedding not a club) Why didnt you follow what she asked for?

 

发表时间 Tue 30 Aug 22 @ 7:06 pm
All, I am not here to complain in any way. Just seek advice how you guys handle clients who want to control you entirely.
Even if the client is the one who pays, there got to be some room for us to express our esthetic and creative side of the dj job, right ?
I play on quite many weddings and 99% is overly satisfied. This time it appears, after talking to the couple afterwards, they are just as happy but when the booze enters the body, sometimes the boundaries are blown away.
In this particular case the bride wanted to control *it all*, which genre, songs and even how long into the song I was supposed to play. She clearly did not want to have full tracks, she wanted me to mix in much more frequently. But this is just details, the main question was how to deal with clients who think they know best what works on the dancefloor.
 

发表时间 Thu 01 Sep 22 @ 10:55 am
Rog-DJPRO InfinityMember since 2011
I meet my couples beforehand so tht if I find them to be like this I don't DJ their wedding - easiest way to a stress-free life!

If it slips through and you get one of these days then make sure you do exactly what you are told but announce it over the mic "sorry for the short cuts but the bride wants me to do it this way" "tonight's music has been carefully selected by the bride and groom". Make a note of all interaction and what you did to remedy the problem.

This might seem a little much but remember those DJs and suppliers who get sued for ruining a wedding and it costs 100k!
 

发表时间 Thu 01 Sep 22 @ 3:16 pm
Tear Em 'UpPRO InfinitySenior ModeratorMember since 2006
Wedding DJing is a game of give and take. Always be ready to throw the game plan out the window and change tactics, to match the couple's wishes.

I tend to think of weddings as an outline, not a rule book.Outlines allow room to go with the flow and not be locked into a planned action/response.
 

发表时间 Thu 01 Sep 22 @ 4:05 pm
gabycorreaPRO InfinityModeratorMember since 2010
Mobile Zombie wrote :
All, I am not here to complain in any way. Just seek advice how you guys handle clients who want to control you entirely.
Even if the client is the one who pays, there got to be some room for us to express our esthetic and creative side of the dj job, right ?
I play on quite many weddings and 99% is overly satisfied. This time it appears, after talking to the couple afterwards, they are just as happy but when the booze enters the body, sometimes the boundaries are blown away.
In this particular case the bride wanted to control *it all*, which genre, songs and even how long into the song I was supposed to play. She clearly did not want to have full tracks, she wanted me to mix in much more frequently. But this is just details, the main question was how to deal with clients who think they know best what works on the dancefloor.

I'm a wedding DJ, parties for girls who turn 15
and events of all kinds. I don't always meet but there is something that I make clear before ...... respecting the wishes we can do it the way of the clients and if it doesn't work ...... in my way but a thing has to be safe if I do it my way it has to work yes or yes... I have 35 years of experience...
but announce it over the mic "sorry for the short cuts but the bride wants me to do it this way" "tonight's music has been carefully selected by the bride and groom".
I applied this several times... very few and it works!!!!

but when the booze enters the body, sometimes the boundaries are blown away.
and this is fundamental in the behavior of people.
he has fun but also potentiates the dark side

best regards
 

发表时间 Thu 01 Sep 22 @ 6:40 pm
Tear Em 'UpPRO InfinitySenior ModeratorMember since 2006
gabycorrea wrote :
announce it over the mic "sorry for the short cuts but the bride wants me to do it this way"



I respectfully disagree. I would avoid saying anything that might put the bride in a poor light. Maybe a general "By Request" but, not pointing at any one particular person.


 

发表时间 Thu 01 Sep 22 @ 7:41 pm
gabycorreaPRO InfinityModeratorMember since 2010
Tear Em 'Up wrote :
gabycorrea wrote :
announce it over the mic "sorry for the short cuts but the bride wants me to do it this way"



I respectfully disagree. I would avoid saying anything that might put the bride in a poor light. Maybe a general "By Request" but, not pointing at any one particular person.




yes of course, the most diplomatically
we agree on that
 

发表时间 Fri 02 Sep 22 @ 12:34 am
I do a lot of weddings and launch events and have found both ends of the scale when it comes to patrons at a event. With wedding events I always spend time at the venue with the clients to cover playlists(both the chosen playlist and what we call adhoc which includes requests from guests and where applicable songs we cannot play eg. bad language ), speaker locations (where i'am providing tech) , speaker coverings , DJ location and dance floor and lighting (some brides dont like colours in lights when aimed at head table) .
When doing events I work with a small team but i'am the one where the buck stops and have had to step in on a few situs where guests where taking liberties with my team, be it drinks , music requests ,requests for elicit substances and you cant just distract them and move on because they are right in their minds and will often hold onto that even in the sober light of day.
As many have said it comes with the job I guess, over time your skin and knowledge of the job with grow , even us oldies are not immune, My last job ended in disaster when a drunk employee at a open air wedding decided to drive around the guest's in their new 2022 lancruiser and ended up drifting into the stage and equipment destroying amps, mixers and speakers. The law suit that followed is a total time waste for me as they admitted liability on the night and after then changed their minds when the bill arrived only to fight for 3 months and then the judge went with my side. This is even after signing a form stating they are responsible for the guests and equipment they still tried to fight it, this is a common exercise here as hotels require it before a function, we have open carry here and many a excited guest has put holes in a roof at a wedding.
anyway, was fun recounting that story and it just goes to show, you never know.

darkspr1te
 

发表时间 Thu 15 Sep 22 @ 8:27 am
gabycorreaPRO InfinityModeratorMember since 2010
darkspr1te
your description is very clear.
and we old djs are not immune.
great truth, every party is a real challenge
 

发表时间 Fri 16 Sep 22 @ 2:05 am